September 4th, 2018.

It was the Spring of 2017 and I had just gotten a new position at work. To me, this was my dream job; something fun I could do that would help me fund my other businesses and polish my skills. A couple of months down the line, I realized it was the complete opposite. I was miserable, constantly drained, emotionally spent and had no time to focus on doing what I actually loved. The energy in the office was always off and I came home with this baggage I couldn't seem to get rid of. I started hating my job, stopped smiling, dreaded going in to work every day. But I did, and whatever task I was given I'd kill it. One day my best friend and I were having breakfast venting about how stressed and unhappy we were. We made a pact to force ourselves to stay for at least one more year, save up enough "fuck you" money and then quit on the same day. We'd go solo, follow our dreams and finally work on our businesses with zero distractions. We were so excited we wrote the date on our whiteboards beside our desk, September 4th, 2018. This would serve as a reminder that there was light at the end of this ugly ass tunnel. Here's the thing with manifestations, once you've said it out loud, written it down, mumbled it to yourself or whatever you do, the universe starts working... immediately. What you asked for will be given to you when it's the right time. It doesn't always happen when you expect it to, but it's always the right time. Anywho, fast forward to the day after labour day, September 5th, 2017 and I'm in the middle of a fitting. I get a call from the front desk that my boss needs me urgently, so I rush down; garment hanging over my shoulder, removing pins from my mouth. I end up in a room with my boss and a lady from HR. You can imagine the shock when I'm told that I'm being let go. Now, the Capricorn in me starts FREAKING out. I didn't plan for this. I don't have enough saved. Hello hi universe I said September 4th TWENTY EIGHTEEN you're a WHOLE YEAR EARLY SIS. I grab my papers, get in my car (the one I bought just two days earlier) and call my mom. Through my tears, I tell her what happened and of course she knows exactly how to calm me down "everything will be okay, I promise. You never know why these things happen. It's for the best. Now maybe you'll smile more."  Right after mom, I message my best friend:

“Lol, I just got let go,” I texted her. “LOL YEAH RIGHT,” she replied. After an hour of silence she replied a second time. “...Lol, same.”

We met up for drinks right after and started laughing at how ridiculous this was. If we ever needed a sign that the universe was listening, and constantly working, this was definitely it. Though we specified the year (numerous times), this was basically the universe's way of saying why wait? Do it now. You'll never have all your shit together so just fuckin do it and stop talking.  

To be completely honest, there are days where I panic over when my next paycheque will be, or how I'm going to afford fabrics and production costs. Not having the security of a biweekly paycheque really messes you up when it's week two, your funds are depleting, and you're playing phone tag with bill collectors. I have moments of, "maybe I should just give up and find a 9-5 so I can finally breathe like a regular human," but I can't give up. I won't. This past year alone is proof that I'm going to be okay. My glow up is so close I can feel it. (Beyoncé I'm coming for you, boo.)

My alarm woke me up this morning to remind myself that today was "quitting time" and I smiled. I'm going to spend this day reflecting on the magic I've created this past year. The growth, the wonderful mini manifestations that have come to life and the endless possibilities that lay ahead.

xx